“We have taken account of your diet over the last month. The healthy breakfasts, takeaway meals, snacks, alcohol – the late nights watching films and scoffing packets of corn chips.”
You feel slightly offended by the term ‘scoffing’ but let the man in the blue suit continue.
“We’ve taken account of the things you’ve read. There were the bits and pieces in newspapers, more focused around the weekend literary supplements. Then the novels you read and a few short stories; dozens of emails, some read only down to the third line. We took in to account the websites you looked at, some of them informational some of them pornographic, and even took account of the text messages you read. One of our teams used eye tracking software to assess all the signs and markings you saw while out and about in the street. Very exciting stuff!”
“It sounds impressive”, you say feeling slightly better about investing $1.6 mil in the project. Your eyes look hungrily at the object, currently covered by a golden silk sheet.
“I can tell you’re eager to see the result”. You nod, expressionless, and to your pleasure the man signals for a subaltern to remove the draped silk. With a graceful movement the young blond man flicks off the cover to reveal the object.
The object is brown, with oddly sharp graphic corners and bumps. “It looks like a giant turd”, you say before you can stop yourself. The man in the blue suit shuffles uncomfortably. The young man who is obviously keen to progress clears his throat and says, “Yes sir, but it is your turd.”